Monday, January 14, 2008

A long day at work...

I just barely got home and after a nice conversation with a good friend, I poured a glass of my favorite Pinot Noir and I am going to post to my blog. I did, after all, say I was going to be a better blogger. Doesn't seem that I am sticking to that goal.

Today one of my patients, well she wasn't my patient today...(I have had her several several times in the past and grown quite attached to her and her mom) found out she has a fairly serious strain of pneumonia. The thing is the average person hears of pneumonia and you think old people or you think that she'll get some meds and get better. That could very well be the case, but with this type, she could get even more sick and not make it. It just reminds me how out of control we are with our lives. I know you hear it all the time, but it is so often brought back to my attention. You can't imagine, well some can, but you can't know how hard it is to look into a mother's eyes who so desperately wants to protect her child and now that she can't is trusting you to do it for her and you have to say that you didn't. That her baby got sick and probably got sick from being in the hospital. These parents trust you so much and look to you for truth and healing and restoration and hope. And sometimes we can't give anything but truth. And that truth to be honest sometimes sucks! I'm feeling very sad about this baby. These are the moments when I am greatful for what I have, but reminded that its all a gift and not to be expected. I'm also reminded for gazillionth time that I have no power in this life. I wish I could fix that baby. I wish I could make that mom feel better. I wish I could restore her faith in us as a unit. I can't. Sometimes my job is crap. I am by no means trying to have a holier than thou attitude, but sometimes I wish for a job where someone's loved one's life wasn't in my hands. Seriously...I think Target is hiring. I may apply.

Well my wine is beckoning me...I might forgo dinner and indulge in another glass...or two.
Nathan and I have started running together. We want to do more active things as a couple...let me tell you his orignal idea of more active was not exactly what I had in mind. So we run/walk about five miles around our neighborhood and up by this wash. Its actually quite beautiful. However, my feet have been hurting and I'm pretty sure I need new shoes. But for will be my cure.
Who knows? may spur on more posts.