My heart is weary

This is my second attempt at starting a blog. Hopefully this will work this time. I suppose I have a bit more free time so that I can actually update this. I am not sure how exciting my life is, so I'm not sure a website dedicated to my simple thoughts is necessary. However on the chance that Nathan and I procreate some day, maybe I can post pictures and cute antecdotes on our children. For now, its only Oscar and Tazo stories...of which mostly consist of crapping on the floor or making my house a disgusting dust ball.

Thoughts for today Sunday, September 16th, 2007.
I went to church this morning. It was fantastic. For the year and a half that I have I have been married we've been "trying" to go to church. How lame is that?!? Its an hour and a half one day a week and I can't make it there? I mean seriously I spend at least four to six hours a week in the gym, 36+ at work, (embarrassingly high number here)hours checking myspace or pretend shopping online. Its just pathetic. Needless to say my heart felt so full worshiping this morning in the new beautiful building that Central has made. It was very inspiring.

Second thought....my heart is plauged with worry and fear for my future. Nathan has quit his job to focus on the company he and his brother started. This is great, yet I worry about the bills. We foolishly got ourselves into some debt and we were working well on climbing out of that pit. Now until some contracts go through its all on me. This terrifies me. Not to mention I'm currently struggling with my obsessive "need" for things. I find this so ridiculous but at the same time I feel so frustrated with my so called "lacking". Its crazy. I live in a beautiful home that I feel blessed to have and yet I am so freakin greedy. Once again....ridiculous. So I am praying that I can trust God to get us over this hump and make Nathan's company successful. Not just for the money, but for his heart. I know he so desperately wants to do this and start something, and I want that feeling of satisfaction for him.

Third thought, I found the most amazing toilet cleaner at Walmart. I couldn't be happier. At least cleaning your toilets is free...well after the $3.24 I spent on my little miracle.

Love you all....stay tuned for pics of my precious angels...I'll try and spruce this up a bit.